What Do You Desire?
by Estavius
Summary: A rewrite of the final scene of episode thirteen, featuring guns, C-4, a secret agent contract killer, Mt. Fuji, censorship, possibly character death(s), and maybe even a magical girl or two.


What Do You Desire?

 _Dear Lenten,_

 _Allow me to tell a story. If you have yet to dispose of this letter, I urge you to avoid doing just that until you have at least skimmed through its contents. Despite the events at that aquarium that appeared to be a failure, I may be able to tell a different tale than the instruments. In fact, it would very well explain how your people found me near Mount Fuji._

 _This story, begins near the close._

On a beautiful winter day, as the afternoon turned to eve and the sky became a brilliant orange, the streaks of red only interrupted by dark clouds overhead. In the cold winter air, snow coated the ground like a soft blanket as three high schoolers stood alone, overlooking the cliff-side. If one didn't know them, they might even confuse the situation with a love triangle, the one male being the target of the two females' affection. A harem even.

Yet that was not the case.

"Are you okay with that, Yukinon?" Yuigahama, one of the girls, asked.

Yuigahama stared at Yukinoshita, the 'ice queen', unwaveringly. Under her gaze, the other girl seemed to melt.

"I…" Yukinoshita trailed off.

Yuigahama saw, out of the corner of her eye, the grimace that formed on Hikigaya's features. She supposed it would have been too much to ask for him to jump over the rails?

"I… I wouldn't min-"

"No. I can't accept your proposal," Hikigaya interrupted. "Yukinoshita ought to solve her problems herself."

Yukinoshita gave a start. Of course it would be Hikigaya to cut in. Yuigahama had expected no less. Hikigaya trembled slightly, as if thinking about the consequences of his actions. Did he realize that pursuing the harem route by purposefully not selecting a heroine would only lead to him ending up with no waifu at all?

"Besides, that's nothing but… nothing but deceit. I don't want any vague answers or superficial relationships."

Yuigahama wondered how Hikigaya had ever read a light novel. They were chockfull of misunderstood scenarios and harem endings. Superficial bonds and unexplained plot points aplenty! After all, Hikigaya had spent a good portion of the last few months reading.

"Even so, I want us to think, writhe, struggle, and find… "

There really was no easy way out, was there?

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Yuigahama said.

She smiled, and a crocodile tear streaked down her cheek. Hikigaya looked to Yukinoshita, who glanced back and forth like a lost kitten. She opened her mouth, to give an answer, a conclusion. Yet Yuigahama beat her to it.

"But I can't accept that." Yuigahama said.

Hachiman twitched. "What?"

"I said," Yuigahama repeated, "I can't accept that."

"Yuiga-"

"I'm done with all that."

Within a second, in one practiced motion, Yuigahama snatched a semi-automatic revolver from her bag, a quick draw, as some would call it, and pointed the barrel at Hikigaya. The silencer gleamed in the dying sun's light.

"Yuigahama, what are you-"

"I said I'm done with that," Yuigahama repeated. "Yukinoshita, you avoided the question this morning, but I'll ask you again: what do you want to do?"

"Yuigahama-san, this is not funny-"

Yuigahama tilted the barrel down and shot the ground twice with a muffled crack. The ejected cartridges twirled in the air before landing near their feet.

"Does this look like a joke to you?"

"That's a real gun…" Hikigaya murmured.

"Shut it you," Yuigahama commanded. "Yukinoshita, start talking."

"W-w-what?" Yukinoshita stammered.

Perhaps it had only just now dawned on the poor girl that the gun was real. The bullets were real, and very likely to cause life threatening injuries. It _almost_ made Yuigahama regret what she needed to do. Almost.

"What do you desire?"

"I-I-I"

"How about I help you out on this?" Yuigahama smiled wryly. "In fact, if you admit it, I may not need to shoot another round."

"Admit what?"

Yuigahama shifted her bag strap slightly; her employer, Lenten, would want to see this clearly.

"That you want to **** Hikigaya."

The mentioned male gave a start. "Wait-"

"Quiet you, no talking."

"I…I have never thought of something like that." Yukinoshita hesitated as her gaze erratically shifted anywhere but in Hikigaya's direction.

Yuigahama laughed. "Ha! Don't tell me you've never dreamed of ****ing him before. Maybe taking Hikigaya home one night and going to bed together and him taking out his **** to **** you?"

"I have… I have never imagined that of anyone in my seventeen years of existence." Yukinoshita declared, her face tinged a little bit red… everywhere. Not a meter away, Hikigaya fidgeted restlessly, his cheeks a similar shade all the way up to his ears.

Stubborn fools, the lot of them.

"Yukinoshita, I've recorded you sleeping so I don't think you have the right to deny my words."

"Y-you what?"

"Do you want to **** Hikigaya or not?" Yuigahama asked. "Whether it's now or to consummate marriage, I really don't care. Just answer me."

"I… I…" Yukinoshita trailed off, fumbling for words. "No. I would sooner die than surrender my virginity to this man."

It seemed that Yukinoshita had regained her cold air, at least in speech. Her words were wobbly as jelly, and the 'dignified' girl's face had gone red as fresh blood in the sunset's illuminating rays. Yukinoshita's eyes darted around faster than a cat chasing a laser pointer. Hikigaya was the same; the two were, in a sense, birds of a feather at times like this.

A failure. Yuigahama supposed she should have seen it coming; if none of the flags had triggered an event thus far, a head-on approach may not have been the best idea. Regardless, they had come this far, Yuigahama might as well stay for the 'end-game'.

"So you're useless in the end Hikigaya?" Yuigahama sighed. "What a shame. I thought by now the two of you would have worked together to graduate from your virgin classes. Wishful thinking, I suppose."

In a single step Yuigahama closed the short distance between them, and pushed the cold metal barrel into the boy's coat. Yuigahama didn't flinch when she pressed the trigger, unloading a bullet straight into Hikigaya's gut. Blood sprayed outwards from his abdomen as Hikigaya fell to the ground. He screamed a guttural nonsensical howl of gibberish, the mind that he was so proud of utterly shocked.

It was disturbing, to hear such irritatingly loud shrieks. Yuigahama supposed it was expected of a plebian that wasn't used to such _minor_ injuries.

"H-Hikigaya-kun!" Yukinoshita dropped to her knees, as if about to propose to a spasming seizure victim.

Of course Yukinoshita would join in the chorus; Hikigaya was the one that she desired to become one with. Perhaps this discordant tumult was their mating call?

Yuigahama smiled. She had the power to end this earsore.

"Shut up." The pink-haired girl snarled.

A second shot rang out and sprayed the wide-eyed Yukinoshita with a warm red crimson splatter.

"W-why-"

Yuigahama's smile turned upside-down as she heard Hikigaya's bloodcurdling scream. It was a scream of desperation, of pain. It was the cry of someone who felt betrayed, confused, horrified. It was despicable.

"Shut…"

Another bullet, another splash. Rather than cry out, Hikigaya down-graded his annoyances to mere moans. How convenient.

"Wait!"

"… up." Yuigahama finished.

A third bullet pierced the prone Hikigaya and tore yet another hole in his coat. Yukinoshita who knelt by his side was covered in flecks of Hikigaya's blood, and Yuigahama herself wasn't much better off.

"Good, he's shut up," Yuigahama approved.

"Ah ah…" Hikigaya twitched on the ground, making more unintelligible noises.

What a loser. He was still trying to say something? Perhaps confess his undying love to Yukinoshita and give her a reason for revenge? Yuigahama glanced over to the girl, who trembled.

Yuigahama shook her head. "I'm done with you."

Three more shots rang out, and Hikigaya stopped moving entirely. A pool of blood had formed underneath him, and Yukinoshita's well-polished shoes caked themselves in the crimson liquid.

Would she have a desire now? Could the death of Yukinoshita's unannounced though clearly known love interest have spurred the command prompt within her brain?

"Why?" A shaky voice was the first to break the silence that resulted from Hikigaya's death.

Yukinoshita slowly turned her head away from the fresh corpse. "Why did you kill him?"

"It was the last thing he could be useful for," Yuigahama replied. "My contractor instructed me to do whatever was necessary"

"Still…"

"Still?" Yuigahama asked.

She caused a change in the distance between the source of the vibrations and when they reached her ears, similar to how an owl's ears have evolved non-symmetrically for depth perception via sound waves. That is to say that Yuigahama tilted her head slightly to the side, not sure if she'd heard right.

What more was there to it? She had shot and killed Hikigaya, the man who couldn't be man enough to get into Yukinoshita's head, or rather, pants, but that future hikkomori was of no importance. Yuigahama could think of nothing left to talk about, aside from her original objective.

"Don't you feel regret?" Yukinoshita questioned. "Anything?"

"Oh I regret," Yuigahama sighed. "I regret wearing white today very much. I was hoping that the two of you would have admitted to your mutual sexual attraction, but that plan sunk just like your ship."

"Y-you…"

"Please wait a moment," Yuigahama requested. "I need to report the current situation to my contractor."

Yuigahama left the gun aimed in Yukinoshita's direction as she activated the speaker in her hidden communication unit.

"Lenten, this is Agent Yuri. I have fished the fish. I repeat: I have fished the fish. I now request permission to proceed with plan C."

A brief silence, but Yuigahama knew that her contractor was listening. The verdict would truly decide Yukinoshita's fate; given the right prompt, Yuigahama would annihilate her without a second thought.

"Agent Yuri, you have the clear to proceed with plan C." The voice rang out solemnly in the small space, a tired variation of an oh-so-familiar antagonist.

Yuigahama watched passively as her mark's face distorted even more. Why exactly had Yukinoshita been called a beauty again? Moreover, why did anyone refer to anyone else as such? In times of duress, in times of 'pain', 'suffering', and 'betrayal', everyone became a grotesque sight. Age, emotions, plastic surgery; all of these things could blemish or heighten what society called 'beauty', yet under threat of death all of it was useless. Yuigahama supposed it wasn't quite her role to question society's judgments; she was a contract killer, a secret agent, _une espionne exceptionnelle_ , not a social critic.

"You heard Lenten."

"Nee-san…"

Yuigahama cracked her neck and rolled her shoulders; contract killing and espionage were such tiresome duties. The fire in Yukinoshita's eye changed, something sharper was there, not that weak wavering wonder of a moment's prior. Perhaps Yukinoshita decided to act after she heard the voice of the mastermind?

"Behind you!" Yukinoshita screamed, an oddly uncharacteristic action. Had she snapped?

Yuigahama indulged the girl, and threw a short glance behind her. In that split second, a blast of force knocked the gun out of her hands, and Yuigahama was tackled to the ground. Perfect.

"I didn't know you were such an exhibitionist," Yuigahama remarked. "You know, I saw everything just now."

Yukinoshita's brows knit together in a downwards arc, the only break in her reforged calm façade.

"If you really wanted to show it off, then you should've just let Hikigaya see your ****," Yuigahama continued. "It'd have made my job much easier."

"Silence." Yukinoshita hissed.

The ice queen pressed down on Yuigahama, both of the agent's arms pinned by Yukinoshita's thin counterparts. The useless gun lay out of reach, a few centimeters too far for Yuigahama's fingers.

"Oh ho, you think you're in the position to make demands do you?" Yuigahama chuckled. "This is coming from the person who charged a killer with a gun?"

"That was a glock, and you used all eight bullets in the magazine. I _neutralized_ this killer," Yukinoshita said slowly. "You'll go to jail. Hikigaya-kun will be back. Everything will be fine. Everything."

"That number is the minimum magazine capacity for glocks, sweetheart. I could have shot you. But do you know what you want to do now?" Yuigahama asked. "Moreover, Hikigaya is dead. Has your sanity shattered from seeing one person die? Pitiful."

"You are not in the position to ask me questions," Yukinoshita echoed.

Yuigahama grinned. "Correction. You're not in the position to tell me what position I'm in."

With a single, practiced movement, Yuigahama arced her legs up and scissored Yukinoshita around the neck with her feet. It was easy to throw the light girl off, solely with her leg muscles. Yuigahama rose to her feet and stretched.

"That was a nice work out," Yuigahama said. "Mind doing that nineteen more times?"

In response, Yukinoshita kicked the gun away, where it skidded off the precipice. A few moments later, Yuigahama heard the far-away tang of metal on concrete.

"I disarmed you," Yukinoshita stated. "I can restrain you again."

Yuigahama grinned. It was probably true; through some time-defying means, Yukinoshita was undoubtedly skilled in close-combat, and even Yuigahama had definitely underestimated her.

"Why are you assuming I only brought one gun?" Yuigahama asked.

"If you did, you'd have taken it from your bag by now," Yukinoshita said. "There's nothing to gain from withholding weapons at this point."

Yuigahama laughed. "What if I don't need one?"

In an instant, so fast that even Yuigahama could barely defend, Yukinoshita had already gotten a grip on her and thrown her to the ground. Yukinoshita was, admittedly, faster than her. In mere moments, Yuigahama had been tossed and mounted once more by the thinner girl.

"You were wrong." Yukinoshita deadpanned.

"I'm right," Yuigahama told her. "And you're going to want to get off me."

Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes. Her mind raced to figure out why Yuigahama had said that, but it really was rather simple. Yuigahama couldn't match Yukinoshita intellectually, perhaps not in speed, but if there was anything that Agent Yuri was known for, it was getting the job done. That and the back-story of her code name, but that wasn't relevant to the current job.

"And why is that?"

"I can detonate the bomb on my person in at least three different ways, none of which you can stop," Yuigahama explained. "The explosion would be enough to kill both of us, y'know?"

"I'm fine with that."

Oh, so Yukinoshita really didn't have anything she wanted to do? Nothing? She was willing to die now with her Hikigaya dead? Was that it?

"The same goes for sixteen other bombs in Chiba."

Yukinoshita paused to consider this. "You're bluffing."

Yuigahama technically was, if one considered the definition of the word bluff. She had lied to Yukinoshita, in that there weren't sixteen bombs. There were twenty. In the near impossible chance that all sixteen could be located and disarmed by Japanese bomb squads, if they were even alerted to the situation at all, then the other four would be unaccounted for. No one would look for something that they didn't know existed.

"I might be, I might not be," Yuigahama said, "but are you willing to take that risk?"

With a slow mechanical pace, Yukinoshita lifted her body from Yuigahama's, and took with it the fascinating warmth of the thinner girl's body. Truly a shame.

"Aah, so eighteen more now?"

"No. Now you'll take off that coat."

"So you shot that way? No wonder Hikigaya had trouble getting into your pants."

"Take off your coat," Yukinoshita repeated. "I felt the plastic underneath."

"Yes mother."

Yuigahama stripped herself of the large white coat and revealed a vest made of dozens of plastic explosives: C-4. The packages were strung together with thin plastic cords, the tightly-woven wires making for excellent protection against knives. It was enough to take a good chunk out of the aquarium, much less demolish two humans instantly.

"You bluffed," Yukinoshita concluded. "You don't have any way of setting them off."

Yuigahama laughed. "I always have an ignition device."

Yuigahama watched Yukinoshita's face carefully; the girl seemed to show no hint of disbelief. In fact, there was no reason for her to believe that Yuigahama didn't have an ignition device. That was most likely a bluff from Yukinoshita to try to get Yuigahama to reveal her hand.

"Now, allow me to ask one more-"

"I don't negotiate with terrorists."

Yukinoshita dived in again, her third go at subjugating Yuigahama. This time however, Yuigahama had gotten tired of that dull old game. With two strong counters, Yukinoshita was off balance. With another second, Yuigahama had the taller girl in a head-lock on the ground.

"Now imagine I was Hikigaya." Yuigahama whispered as she pressed her ample chest into Yukinoshita's back. "You like this? You like it?"

Yukinoshita said nothing, but struggled all the same. Against Yuigahama's trained body, it was a futile effort, akin to the hopeless prince trying to steal the dragon's pearl, like the emperor who burnt a letter in the misguided hope it could reach the moon. It was fruitless effort. Then, with the realization that she could do no more, Yukinoshita gave in and went limp.

"Now then," Yuigahama began, "will you answer my question?"

Yuigahama released Yukinoshita from the head-lock, and let the girl get back on her feet.

"Why-"

"Allow me," Yuigahama interrupted, "to ask the questions."

"And if I do not answer?"

It was cute, it really was, how Yukinoshita thought she was still capable of denying and making demands.

"Then I have thousands of hostages," Yuigahama said. "I can kill them at a moment's notice. Surely you know what'll happen, right?"

Yukinoshita glanced away, down to the bullet-ridden corpse of her sexual attractions. Could it be that she was still attracted to Hikigaya, even after his death? Was Yukinoshita a necrophiliac?

"I'll repeat myself again. What do you want to do?"

Yuigahama fished through her bag and retrieved a non-descript grey box, a handheld device that fit snugly in her palm. A logo that should be familiar to Yukinoshita was emblazoned on the side.

"This is a scrapped lie detector, made by Yukinoshita Corporation," Yuigahama went on. "It was abandoned because in testing it needed an excessive amount of data on the subject and thus was unfeasible for forensic use. But right now, it's perfect."

Yuigahama had spent months accumulating the required information to input into this tiny machine. Hours upon hours of irrelevant conversation, all for this computer to calculate. At this point, the prototype lie detector should have at least a ninety-five percent accuracy rate, more than enough for one straight-forward inquiry.

"I don't understand the question."

Stubborn, even under the face of fire. No doubt Yukinoshita was still trying to think of a way to save the city, even as she stood less than three meters away from a living bomb.

Yuigahama sighed. "I'll put two minutes on the clock. If you don't have a satisfactory answer, then I'll blow this city away."

Yuigahama made a big show of doing it too, with a comically large stereotypical bomb-timer that immediately began its countdown.

"When this hits zero, all of the C-4 will go off, as will my own," Yuigahama said. "Now, for the last time. _What do you desire_?"

A brief silence ensued; Yukinoshita's large brain was undoubtedly working its hardest in this short moment.

"I wish for you to stop," Yukinoshita tried, "disarm the ignition devices, and leave."

Yuigahama clucked her tongue. A loophole? Maybe, but she wouldn't let that pass. The lie detector stayed silent, so Yukinoshita genuinely wanted the city to stay untouched at this moment in time.

"That won't work," Yuigahama said. "What do _you_ want? Desire? What's your will? Your everlasting wish, the thing that you need so much that you'd defy any gods above and beyond for its sake?"

Surely the gifted Yukinoshita could divine her own wants under intense pressure? Regardless, Yuigahama couldn't let up; the C-4 strapped to her torso was beginning to feel a tad uncomfortable.

"Ninety seconds remaining," Yuigahama prompted. "Are you really willing to sacrifice all those innocent lives?"

"Why are you willing to die for this?" Yukinoshita asked. "The other bombs can be used to threaten me, but why would you put yourself at risk?"

Yuigahama smiled wryly. "A contracted agent who fails a single operation will never get another call. It's the equivalent of death to be unsuccessful."

"I can get money," Yukinoshita offered. "Perhaps not as one lump sum, but-"

"Answer the question. It's simple, isn't it? What do you covet above all else?"

"To graduate from Sobu High."

BEEP.

The lie detector beeped a lone wail that caught the cry of wolf. Yukinoshita had lied. The ice queen's façade twitched, a brief slip showed the anxiety hidden beneath the wavering poker face. Perhaps she had meant to test the validity of the lie detector? No matter the scenario, it had failed.

"Fifty seconds left," Yuigahama announced. "Will you stop this farce already?"

"To graduate from the affiliated university."

BEEP.

"To become a successful member of society."

Another BEEP.

"To correct the world of all its flaws."

Yuigahama paused as the machine whirred in her palm. Perhaps that could-

BEEP.

Another cold and unforgiving beep rang out in the silence. Yukinoshita's true intents became more and more unclear.

"Thirty seconds."

Yuigahama watched as Yukinoshita's slim frame began to shake. The clock ticked down, but the girl gave no more responses.

"Twenty," Yuigahama said. "Have you really given up?"

Fifteen.

Now twelve.

Yukinoshita let out a long exhausted sigh. Did this mean she gave in? Was Yukinoshita going to announce her true feelings?

Ten.

"I want to become a magical girl!" Yukinoshita shouted.

Eight.

The lie detector grew hot, inner mechanisms hard at work to uncover the reality of the situation. Had that really been the life aspiration of Yukinoshita Yukino, the ice queen, the second heir to the Yukinoshita Corporation?

Seven.

Six.

Yuigahama laughed, in spite of the situation. She prepared to call off the explosions, to perform the hand-sign that alone would cancel every ignition.

Five.

BEEP.

That was it. Yukinoshita had lied. They would both die here, alongside thousands of others.

Four.

The realization hit Yuigahama that her perfect track record was now void. No matter, that wouldn't be an issue on the other side. Yuigahama felt what seemed like tears welling up in her eyes, not because of her impending death, but because of her persona, Agent Yuri's, failure.

Three.

"Goodbye."

Two.

Yuigahama smiled brilliantly, a real smile, unlike the countless falsities crafted for her role as the social animal. She would be vaporized with a grin on her face, triumphantly looking the reaper in the eye. Yuigahama was ready to die.

One.

"Trans-"

Zero.

Then in an instant, the existence known publicly as Yuigahama Yui vanished off the surface of the planet.

…

 _What if I told you, that this was not the end of the story? That somehow, in some way, Yuigahama had survived the blast strong enough to demolish the entire building. What if I told you that, by some magical means, no one died from the multitude of kilograms of plastic explosives planted across the city?_

 _I imagine you'd call me out for lying. I imagine that you'd disbelieve what I'm about to say. I imagine that you'd dismiss the previous contents of this letter, my recount of the story, and try to logically pair it with your analysis. Yet I can shatter that reality, the sorry little bubble I lived in. The bubble we all lived in. If you're reading this, Lenten, then know this: there is much more to the world than you or I had previously predicted._

 _No, there existed more than anyone could have believed. Your sister is proof of that._

When Yuigahama came to, she saw the night city lit by lights, far far beneath her. This certainly didn't look like Yomi. In fact, it looked a lot like Japan. Could this be what Westerners called Heaven? Still, Heaven looked an awful lot like Japan. Moreover, why was everything moving underneath her? Yuigahama felt the contents of her stomach coming back up.

"You're awake," A calm voice stated.

Yuigahama snapped out of her reverie; she was high up in the air. Someone had hooked their arms around hers, and carried her through the sky. A lucid dream?

"Nice day to you too, Yukinoshita," Yuigahama muttered. "Or should I say good evening?"

"Neither," Yukinoshita said, her voice faint in the rushing wind. "As it's neither an evening you've been good on, or an evening that was good."

"Is this-"

"The real world? Yes."

Yuigahama's mind began calculations. If Yukinoshita managed to escape the situation at the last moment... no, that wasn't possible. In reality, unlike the magical realm of movies, there was no 'outrunning' an explosion. Even the world's fastest sprinter wouldn't have been able to outpace a shockwave of that caliber, much less…

How was Yuigahama above Japan? She tilted her head to her collarbone, and realized one terrifying fact.

They were airborne, both of them, Yukinoshita and her.

Moreover, there were no guides, no aides; nothing was attached to Yukinoshita aside from an extremely long trail of lace. _A wedding dress?_ Was this really a dream?

"Please wait a moment."

Without giving Yuigahama a second to process her words, Yukinoshita descended into a dive. The winds howled, the g-forces rattled Yuigahama's bones, and the ground hurtled towards them at a speed that would put any roller coaster to shame.

Then, just as abruptly as it had begun, the deathly descend ended. Yukinoshita gently touched the ground, and Yuigahama tumbled out of her arms onto the cold sand. The impact was real; the uncomfortable grains and slight tingle of pain, all of it was genuine. This wasn't a dream, nor a fantasy. It couldn't be an illusion, nor was Yuigahama faithful enough to still think it was the afterlife.

She was alive. Yuigahama had lived. So had Yukinoshita, in her lovely… snow white wedding dress.

"How are you-"

"Never make me do that again," An oh-so-familiar voice interrupted.

Yuigahama froze in the midst of getting up. It couldn't be. But it was.

"Hikigaya-kun, surely even you could manage such a simple illusion?"

"Doesn't make it less of a pain," The nonchalant reply returned.

It was Hikigaya, wearing a furisode of the same brilliantly bright tones. How was he alive? Yuigahama had certainly shot him full of holes, intentionally missing the fatal areas at first to let Yukinoshita suffer. Still, the last three bullets should have gone through his lungs. Was Hikigaya immortal?

More importantly, why was he wearing traditional female dress? Had Hikigaya pilfered it out of someone's laundry? A beautifully elegant furisode, probably mindlessly expensive, looked out of place on Hikigaya's slouching form.

"Disarming twenty bombs in five minutes is stretching it," Hikigaya complained.

Yukinoshita raised an eyebrow. "I thought it was sixteen?"

"She lied."

By this point, Yuigahama rose to her feet. Her mind was a mix of disbelief and confusion. Over the past few days, Yuigahama had endeavored to set up a number of explosives, all timed to execute if she didn't give the explicit command to stand down. The combined might would have been enough to end thousands of lives if not more, and cause billions in damages. Yet the two standing in front of her, one in a formal Western dress and the other in traditional, seemed to have not cared at all. Hikigaya treated it as insignificantly as another helping of homework.

"What should we do with her?" Hikigaya asked, as if Yuigahama wasn't beside them as they spoke.

"You know already," Yukinoshita said. " **Reset** her."

Yuigahama twitched; the sound of being 'reset' did not bode well with her. It took a second for her to decide to flee. It took another five seconds for her to reach the desolately empty road beside the beach, and another three to cross into the forest.

Hikigaya sighed. "Why do they always run?"

Yuigahama whirled at the sound of his voice, yet there was no one there. No sound, no body, nothing but the light rustling of the leaves in the evening breeze. Yet Yuigahama knew that Hikigaya was here. She had just heard his voice nearby, maybe less than a stone's throw away. Yuigahama turned to escape deeper into the forest when she noticed.

A stick cracked. No noise came with this though, none of the usual snapping or cracking, not even a pop. The leaves moved, but again, no sound. There was very little disturbance around that area, if any at all, but Yuigahama felt something was off.

"Oi." The voice seemed to come from the air itself.

Yuigahama fled without hesitation. Hikigaya could turn invisible. If the loner was hard to notice before, now he had some way to cloak himself?

Yuigahama's one-way chase went on for some time and her tempered body traversed the forest easily. It was nothing compared to her marathon practice, or woodlands pursuit training. Yuigahama could keep up her pace for at least another two hours.

That was until she ran into an invisible wall, of course, face-first. A rather comfortably soft wall, but still a wall nonetheless.

"Did you have to run?" Hikigaya grumbled.

Hikigaya had caught up. He had caught up to her, a trained agent, someone who was confident in their skill in hunting a mark and escaping pursuit. Yuigahama wanted to shout to the world that it was impossible, but a lot of undefinable things had happened in just the past day.

Yuigahama chuckled weakly. "Of course your furisode isn't even dirty."

Over the long stretches of forest, and the many many swaths of muddy snow in the darkness, Hikigaya hadn't let a single blemish ruin his stolen dress.

"It won't hurt," Hikigaya promised.

"That's what they all say," Yuigahama muttered. "What the hell are you two?"

"Yukinoshita's a magical girl," Hikigaya deadpanned. "Unfortunately, I… am one as well."

The boy Yuigahama had become so very well acquainted with was certainly flushed bright red. Well that was a given; most people would get flustered when caught cross-dressing. Even more so when saying that they were a magical girl. What was this, some sort of shoujo manga? A brutally spliced fanfiction of reality?

"One question," Hikigaya prompted.

Yuigahama sighed. "Sure, why not."

There really wasn't anything else to do, especially since Hikigaya had managed to keep up seemingly without effort. No matter where she went, Yuigahama felt within her that Hikigaya could follow, that was engrained into her mind.

"Did you like it, these past months?" Hikigaya asked.

Yuigahama stared at the unmoving fish eyes, the ones she'd only recently deemed forever closed. Then she thought back, to the weeks of foolish rambles to preserve her identity, the incompetence at which she had proceeded, the months of effort down the drain. Then Yuigahama thought to the moments of joy, few and spread apart as they were, the inward laughter at the sexually awkward fools, the gentle atmosphere of that old classroom in the special building.

Yuigahama closed her eyes to the nonsensical world. "Yeah, it was fun."

A lone grunt was the only response she got, but Yuigahama didn't expect anything more.

"Make it quick okay?" Yuigahama requested, a brilliant smile atop her lips once more.

The last thing Yuigahama heard was what anyone would call a weak voice, void of effort or tone, yet strangely warm nonetheless.

"See you at school tomorrow."

 _I expect you'll never hear from me again, and I find it highly likely that Yukinoshita herself will deny all the contents of this letter. The same goes for Hikigaya; his acting skill is not one to be taken lightly. That's fine though; I have decided to retire after this, and resume my studies at Sobu. With this, I have completed my mission, and like any good agent, I bid you adieu._

 _Signed,_

 _Agent Yuri_

 **Almost certainly OOC. I wonder why? Maybe it's the guns. Or the magical girls. Or the magic? Truly, it is a mystery.**

 **On another note, for some reason, I tend to think of these ideas when watching the episode. For example, when I first saw episode 13, I was inwardly curious as to what would happen if Yuigahama had just said those words: "But I can't accept that." 'Course, I also wondered what would happen if anyone fell over the railing, but eh, no one did in this fanfic, only a gun. I guess they'd probably die?**

 **And yes, that does mean I thought of thid ~two months ago and never wrote it until now... I'** **ve had the idea for at least that amount of time but never really started until last week. It was probably a bad idea to stick in all the random references too, but I digress...**


End file.
